Ch-ch-ch-changes.....

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."

-Maya Angelou

This is where I am today. I found out on Tuesday that two of my childcare clients will no longer be attending. Obviously, because this is my source of income now, I have some mixed feelings on it. I have spent the past couple days processing the facts, contemplating my next move, making lists (this is something I have done since childhood- listing the pros and cons of every situation), and talking it out…. Last night, I reached a place of peace about the whole ordeal.

When I started this blog, I did so as a personal celebration of being right where I want to be- home with and educating my own kiddos. I wanted to share my methods and the unique challenges present in homeschooling as a single mother. I have to admit, I have been tempted to fall into thinking that maybe it is true- that maybe homeschooling is only for two-parent families that live in a 3 bedroom ranch, with two cars and two pets….I wanted to throw in the towel and hang my head, admit failure and return to a traditional job. I actually wanted to cry at having been such a fool as to celebrate something that is honestly not possible…. Everyone who knows me knows this is not my style. But it is part of my process. You know what, though, my home is not going to fall apart because of lost income; it never has and never will. I am not going to fall apart because of a little setback. Lack of focus is the only real danger...

The choices I have made in regards to my children’s education require sacrifice. The sacrifices of my own education and income potential pale in comparison to the heartfelt joy and rewards of being solely responsible for my children’s education.

Truth be told, the challenge of having such a wide range of ages in my home (aside from providing a new found respect for the homeschooling moms of many) caused its own set of sacrifices- for my son. He told me yesterday that when I am happy I teach him all day. As I said in a prior post, there are times that planned activities fall by the wayside, as topics of interest steer us in different directions. I have to be honest- there are also times when our curriculum would suffer because I was just too darn busy with the other kids and the inevitable amount of housework that ensued. Not to mention, there were many things (like legos) that couldn’t be played with while the littlest guy was underfoot.

Moving forward, I am making some changes to my childcare program.

Group Composition

Our newest guy, the after-kindergartener, is a keeper and for this I am very happy. He will be with us full time in the summer, which is another reason to rejoice in having no more than the number of children that I can transport in my car. This means I will accept no more than one other child. Furthermore, I have to remain committed to accepting only a child who can learn alongside my son, daughter and friend. So, I will only accept a child between the ages of 3-6; please feel free to remind me of this when the $250/week parents of infants call….

Scheduling

Having seen how my son’s curriculum schedule can so easily be influenced by the needs of other children in my home, I’m switching things up a bit. What I had been doing was scheduling his activities- handwriting, phonics, math, science and spelling, around the other children. Moving forward, I am working on a master schedule, similar to one I saw on another homeschooling blog. The idea is to create my son’s schedule first in one column and then fill in appropriate activities for the others. It brings my son’s education back to being the focal point.

In short, I had built our daily schedule to satisfy potential clients, rather than base it on what truly works for me and my own children. I hate to even say it, but we are really not “morning people.” Jumping right in at 7am every day just wasn’t working for us. When I was still working in the afternoons (and adhering to the hourly bus schedule), we had no choice but to jump in and squeeze in what we could in the two hours we had together. Nowadays, we literally have all day. Can I say that again, we have all day!

I am excited for this new month, and for the changes that are mine to make. I can’t say that I like not being in control, but I can change my attitude and not complain. I can focus on the long list of pros, on all the positives that come with uncontrolled change, not only accepting, but finding ways to be genuinely grateful. That is where I am today, back to celebrating!